Exhausted

My life in Sydney is busy, to be sure, but nothing compares to how busy I am when I'm in Melbourne (like now). Every second weekend my life takes an abrupt turn - I go from being a carefree bachelor and man-about-town in Sydney to being a single parent of 4 in Melbourne, and no matter how much I try to prepare myself for it (sleep is the best thing, and lots of it) it still catches me out. We had a great day today but by 730 I'm drained. We're staying at my mother's, as we often do, and at some level that depresses me too. I'm too old to be staying at my mother's house and doing so reinforces the notion that somehow something's gone horribly wrong, and it's all my fault. Of course I know it hasn't; if anything it's all gone horribly right but when you're a man in his 40s stuck in house in Glen Waverley with his mother (who kindness itself would have to admit has had a couple of drinks and is not entirely on the ball - but am I in a position to judge? Thinking all this just makes it worse...) it's hard to shake.

The children are watching a movie and mercifully are not arguing. I think we're all headed for an early night. I'm in Melbourne til Wednesday (and from tomorrow will be in a nice hotel, thanks to my employer) but there aren't all that many people for me to see here. M is away still, I think. And A..? Well, I just don't know. We sort of arranged to have dinner on Monday night but he's working late and I'm starting to read too much into his fairly terse communications.