Russian

I was watching television today with my kids (I'm a very lazy parent) and there was an ad for Domino's pizza. They were advertising, among other things, a 'Russian' pizza. The voiceover was a woman with a Boris-and-Natasha russian accent. The selling point for this pizza? It had lots of tomato, and various other things, none of which were remotely russian. If you don't believe me, here's a link.

I've been to Russia and there was hardly any food there at all, as far as could see. But a 'russian' pizza, if you were to make such a thing (why? why on earth?) would have... well, caviar, vodka, more vodka, borscht, cabbage, black bread. When I was in Russia in the early 90s the people looked as though they'd be happy to eat the bark off trees. So maybe you could throw that on as well.

Extra: as I was writing this I had a flashback to a fantastical menu item they had at Domino's for a while last year, the 'Meat Pie Pizza'. It's no longer available, but you can see a picture of it here. This is wrong in so many ways I can't even begin to start but at the same time it has a certain exuberant charm.