That's a big one, mister,

I stopped by the fruit bandit this morning and got some blueberries and a banana. I don't know where he gets this stuff from, but the bananas he has are freakish things, straight and about a foot long. I wouldn't be surprised if they glow in the dark too. Fruit bandit and I have an uneasy but respectful relationship; I don't trust him and he knows it. I first encountered him when I moved back to Sydney two years ago, I'd gone to his stall and bought something like one apple, a peach and a banana. He often prices things as 3 for $2 and whatnot so you can never be sure how much things are if you buy items individually. I asked him how much it all was, he looked at me, saw I had a $5 note in my hand and said "five dollars". I handed it over, thinking what an agreeable coincidence it was that I had the exact amount of money, and it wasn't until I got back to work that I realised I'd been legged over.

So, back to our story. I was going up in the elevator this morning, a fairly crowded elevator. Only one person I knew, my colleague M. He said to me quite innocently "you've got a big banana". To my credit, I maintained my composure and just said "thank you" and then dissolved into silent hysteria.