SGT Joey

These nigerians are getting lazy. I got this spam today, which I reproduce in its entirety. Nothing about plane crashes or someone's uncle who was finance minister. Just this:

I am SGT joey, with the USA Army in Iraq, we have 20,000,000.00 USD and we want to move the funds out, you will be entitled to 8 Million, respond for details.

Why I don't live in Cairns.

This gem's been doing the rounds for the last few days. Cairns Post did a street-corner vox-pop asking passers-by what they were going to do with their $900 stimulus package windfall. Brilliant!

Apart from the Connor Simpson thing, I think it's interesting to note that two of the others were planning on spending money on tattoos.

Another Queensland newspaper (and why does that sound vaguely comical?) did a follow-up and interviewed our man Connor, who claims that the whole thing was a joke. And, strangely enough, I believe him.

Bristols

I'm sure everyone but me already knows this one, but I was reading in the Australian today about the dispute between the Palins and the father of Bristol's child. It's oddly fascinating as these things often are. But the best bit was a statement from the Palins, trying to diffuse the whole thing:

"Bristol is focused on going to college, raising Tripp and advocating abstinence."

Abstinence? It's a bit late, surely.

Hot. Shallow.

My friend Neighbor Girl (and before you ask- no, that's not her real name) has a rule. She only goes out with men who are hot. She's noticed that when she explains this to people she often gets accused of being shallow. But as she points out, it's only the not-hot who seem to care about shallowness.

Telstra

I was listening to the radio today and they were talking about Telstra. How its constant battle with the government had backfired and so on. Which I love, of course. I loathe Telstra. But then (and this was the ABC, and someone who probably should have known better) the host said, in a way that suggested he was shocked at the thought, that Telsta's management had run the company only in the interested of the shareholders, rather that in the interests of the broader community. Well, that's Telstra management's job.

Alphabet

I apologize in advance, this is another of my rare posts about my kids. Bear with me.

My four like nothing better than arguing and fighting among themselves. Maybe because it's because there's four of them and they feel like it's the only way they get airtime, or maybe because they're all just plain crazy. A couple of years ago I realised that they must, at some level, quite like it. Otherwise they wouldn't... right?

When we stay at my mother's, she often makes soup. And as a special treat, this weekend she made alphabet soup. Or as my oldest son termed it, "alphabetical soup", which has a pleasant Edwardian ring to it I'm sure you'll agree.

Once the soup was served up, the fun started. "I've got a 'Z'", announced one, triumphantly. "No, that's really an 'N', you're always cheating", and "'Z' isn't so special, there's plenty of them.. I've got a 'Q'"... and so forth, with increasing volume and vehemence until there was a tantrum (me) and tears (girls).

It's a death-match, a fight to the bitter end, real scorched-earth stuff.

My sister gave them two bags of very nice and rather expensive easter eggs to share and they fell on these like Cape Hunting Dogs on a sick zebra. "They don't share", I told her. But I guess if you don't have kids you wouldn't know that.

More Pat!

See! I really don't make this stuff up.

Economics

People sometimes think of economics as being abstruse, or just plain made-up. And economists disagree on stuff all the time, so how can you trust any of it?

But there are a few really fundamental things that pretty much all economists agree on, and they're pretty much right. And there's a superb example of it in this morning's paper, an article about how the money the government's giving to first-home buyers ($14k for existing house, $21k for new house) is, you guessed it, pushing up prices at the low end of the market by about, you guessed it again, $14 to $21k.

So the subsidy's really to first-home sellers. And it will all end in tears.

Adelaide

Yes, but you'd still be in Adelaide.


And while we're on the topic, there was a report out the other day about how Sydney's airport is the worst in Australia, and part of it said:

At $14 an hour, Sydney's parking is the most expensive in the country. At Adelaide, an hour's parking costs $4.

Well it would, wouldn't it?

That's what I thought she said..

I was at dinner last night with a charming woman and I was pretty much on my best behavior until she said something like there's a creative world and a practical world and she was "rooted in both worlds". I tried not to but I really can't not react to something like that and I couldn't help saying "as it were" but with a completely straight face, and she was about two or three sentences on before she realised what had happened.

She then guessed my star sign. She had told me the last time we'd met that the stars reveal peoples' character so I said she could try to figure out mine. She had three strong possibilities. It wasn't either of them. She tried a few more. Finally after about 8 or 9 she got it, which she put down to not knowing me all that well.