Flinders Village Cafe

I've been away for a few days, down at the beach with my kids. We were staying in a small town called Flinders, just over an hour out of Melbourne. Beaches were great, weather was hot, kids were fun.

I'd wake up earlier than the others (they were exhausted) and go into the main street to buy a newspaper and have a coffee. My usual order was this: "a small latte for here please, and can you turn the music down". The cafe had a very pleasant area out front in a courtyard, shaded, nice tables and chairs. But they'd hung speakers from the trees and were pumping music into it - something vaguely new-agey crossed with trance. So there'd be pan pipes and horrible flutes and a peppy electronic bass line too. I can endure this sort of thing in the middle of the afternoon but first thing in the morning it's more than I can stand.

One morning I decided to just endure it - I hate being the Grumpy Old Man who keeps having to ask to have the music turned down (I used to have huge fights with cabdrivers in Singapore about this. Singaporeans abhor silence). So I sat there in the lovely courtyard with my pretty-decent coffee, early morning sunshine filtering through the tree, no kids running around.. and I was seething. It should have been a perfect moment.

Then I saw the sign. It explains everything. I like the second bit. "It would be appreciated if you change tables to inform staff". Now I'm not stupid, I know what they're getting at. They're saying that if you change tables (the tables are numbered) you should tell someone. Which is entirely reasonable. So why not just say "Please tell staff if you change tables".