Area

This at the back of Chadstone shopping center, as you walk over to the oval and the cricket nets (yes, my life is incredibly glamorous). This sign would once have said "Assemby Area" and someone's had a go at it. On the one hand, it's not clever and it's not funny. On the other hand, it actually is.

NCIS.. where?

Channel 10 here is about to show NCIS Los Angeles, which I only know because I've been watching some tv this week with my kids. And so what?, I can hear you ask.

If you watch anything on channel 10 you get endless promos for the show, which doesn't look half bad. But what gets me (and you know me well enough to know there's always something) is the voiceover guy. "NCIS... Los AngelEEZ", he says.

Smarter.

Ollie says I'm just like Homer Simpson, except a bit smarter. Could be worse, I guess...

More on names.

Yesterday's Sunday Herald-Sun. There were 17 babies featured. Take a deep breath... the list included:

• Sydnee
• Maddison
• Mitchall (no, I didn't get it wrong, that's how they spelled it)
• Mikayla (again)
• Morgan
• Hudson
• Eden
• Sienna

Names again.

And speaking of names (pay attention), I've trained my sons to answer to Brayden and Jayden. I'm less sure about the girls; I tried Krystle and Chardonnay but they don't have the same oomph. Also, of course, they don't rhyme. Suggestions?

Names

Sunday's Herald-Sun has a section towards the back where each week they feature a dozen of so babies. A little photo of each one, a couple of sentences. My kids and I are unhealthily interested in this; it's a little family ritual we've developed over the last couple of months.

It's the names of the babies that are fun. This week, for example, we found a Jaxon and a Mikayla. Bullseye!

Located.

I know you think I have too much time on my hands (and it's hard to argue with that) but just stop for a moment and think about the word "located". In most instances it's just a filler. This sign here (FF, Kings Cross) is a good example.

If it just said "Fitness First / On the 8th Floor" would it lose anything? I know that using "located' like this sweetens it a bit, gives it better rhythm, but it's meaningless. It's like, as someone once said to me in similar context, the polysterene beads they put in boxes when they're packing stuff. (RC - thank you.)

I've become sensitised to this (yes, I really do have too much time on my hands) and as a result I'm quite disciplined about it. If I'm on the phone making an appointment to go somewhere or whatever and I'm about to say "... and where are you located?" I steel myself and just say "where are you?", or, if I'm feeling especially louche, "where are you at?"

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Postcript: While I'm on the subject of signs and Fitness First Kings Cross, there's a sign in the men's shower area warning about "inapropriate behavior" and we all know what they're getting at. But context is everything, surely. What's inappropriate in a gym in, say Chatswood might not be at all untoward in the postcode 2011. Quite the opposite, in fact.