Monday, August 24, 2009

Located.

I know you think I have too much time on my hands (and it's hard to argue with that) but just stop for a moment and think about the word "located". In most instances it's just a filler. This sign here (FF, Kings Cross) is a good example.

If it just said "Fitness First / On the 8th Floor" would it lose anything? I know that using "located' like this sweetens it a bit, gives it better rhythm, but it's meaningless. It's like, as someone once said to me in similar context, the polysterene beads they put in boxes when they're packing stuff. (RC - thank you.)

I've become sensitised to this (yes, I really do have too much time on my hands) and as a result I'm quite disciplined about it. If I'm on the phone making an appointment to go somewhere or whatever and I'm about to say "... and where are you located?" I steel myself and just say "where are you?", or, if I'm feeling especially louche, "where are you at?"

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Postcript: While I'm on the subject of signs and Fitness First Kings Cross, there's a sign in the men's shower area warning about "inapropriate behavior" and we all know what they're getting at. But context is everything, surely. What's inappropriate in a gym in, say Chatswood might not be at all untoward in the postcode 2011. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Friday, August 21, 2009

tagline

I treated myself to a new laptop this week, a lovely sleek 13" macbook pro. It's to replace my current white macbook, which I'm donating to some needy kids who live in an isolated and economically deprived area.

Anyway. One of the things I really like about unpacking any Apple product is that every piece you unpack will have somewhere on the packaging the tagline "designed by Apple in California". I find this immensely reassuring.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Tax.

There's an otherwise-unremarkable story in today's Australian about the remote possibility that the capital gains tax exemption for owner-occupied housing might be scrapped. But the really great great part about it was left out of the online version. It's a picture of the young couple who are quoted towards the end of the story. They're on the terrace of their North Sydney apartment and behind them you can see the bridge and the harbor and whatnot. And then there's the caption:
Thomas and Katherine Ko, who are selling their apartment at Milsons Point, Sydney, for upwards of $3 million, oppose the idea of a capital gains tax on high-end family homes.

Well they would, wouldn't they? I don't blame the Kos for this, by the way. I'm opposed to anything that disadvantages me too. But who's the genius at The Australian who found this couple? It is the same person who finds a struggling family out in the Hills and puts them on the front page (always a front-lawn shot) when there's an interest rate cut?

Speaking of which, I expect that when interest rates start to rise again they'll have a picture of a semi-employed ex-banker on the front page, someone who's living on investment income and who welcomes a rate rise. That'd be me. They can find me at the Gazebo on a Thursday afternoon when the time comes.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Bananas.


I was walking down the street early this evening carrying a banana peel. By way of explanation, I'd eaten the banana as I was walking, and was hoping that on the way to the bank and the supermarket I'd find somewhere to put it.

I heard a woman behind me say "excuse me" and I turned around. She was in, I'd guess, her 60s. Eccentrically dressed but not - at least at first glance - barking mad. "Yes?", I said, expecting she'd tell me that my shoelaces were undone. I get that a lot.

She pointed to my hand "can I have your banana peel?", she asked. Then, by way of explanation, she added "it's for the worms".

I handed it over and crossed the road in case she was, in fact, a nutter. And as I crossed the road I realised I'd missed my chance. My chance to say something like "Banana peel? My kids get worms and I usually give them those worm tablets you buy at the chemist".